a Lynne's


Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Art Therapy?
I started drawing a couple of years ago. I was down, real down and I could not snap out of it, this went on for about a week. My friend SG called to ask if I wanted to go out and play. I expressed why I could not. SG simply stated that I needed art therapy.
She kidnapped me. We drove to Fred Meyer and purchased some art supplies. SG got origami and molding clay. I choose drawing paper and oil pastels. SG was 100% correct, that was all I needed. That summer whenever I felt down I would sketch, and then I stopped for about a year.

I have picked up drawing again. Depression was not the trigger this time, not sure what was. I think it was when friends invited me to join them for theweekend at the Colonyhouse. I totally wanted to get away to the coast for the weekend and since my only writing is journaling I decided to bring along my drawing supplies. I also brought books, my taxes and photos to organize. It was a splendid weekend. No phone, no computer (my choice) just a relaxing atmosphere. I organized my sailing photos, hardly did any reading, and my taxes, not even close. But I did spend most of the day drawing.

Almost immediately upon returning to Portland from the coast I had my car accident. Then one really stressful horrible week followed. I somehow remembered my PCC catalog. Every year I say I am going to take a class and never do. I get too busy, miss the deadline, haven’t budgeted for it, etc.. This time I got it together and signed up for a beginners drawing class.

Last night during my third class I learned that I now need therapy to deal with my “art therapy”! Our assignment was to draw a paper bag. We were learning perspective and value. OK, I was learning because everyone else took right to it. Three attempts it took me to just draw a frickin’ box! And I still drew the bag too short. I was getting so frustrated with myself that tears formed in my eyes while the teacher was trying to show me what to do, what that hell was that!? My final product was OK, I am happy with it but the process that got me there was painful.
I don’t understand why I do that. Part of me knows it was because I probably wasn’t feeling well, although I did not know it at the time (today I stayed home from work). The other part of me knows that I need to manage myself better when I know my head is not working the way it should be…

Damn, it sucks when you need therapy to deal with your therapy.


Add a comment