a Lynne's


Thursday, October 28, 2004

A tiny look into where I'm at, and why I don’t feel posting...
I have been depressed these past few days. No, that’s a lie; it’s not really depression that got my mind in a tiff. What it is is extreme frustration with situations and annoyances with certain people, self included.
The latest frustration is with my geography class. By the third class I feared this class & I would not be a good fit, I was right. I am continuously frustrated with my mind. I just cannot get my mind to work in math logic; at least not at the level it needs to be for this class.
I cannot express to you how horrible and debilitating it is to feel so stupid.
Luckily, I have the luxury of not caring what my grade is. But of course, I do care. I want to learn something, plus, I have never failed a class before. The lowest grade I received in graduate school was a B-, and that was devastating.
Another crappy thing about failing is, well, failing. I have such problems setting goals these days (I have been meaning to post about this problem) and to think that I cannot achieve this goal makes it even worse.
And on top of all that, because I have such negative feelings toward this class, sometimes I find myself procrastinating and that leads to having to cancel plans with friends or working out – two things I need to do for my mental health.
Ramble on...Peace all.


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